Breaking The Sinner (The Breaking Series Book 4) Read online

  He was all she could think about anymore. Seeing him daily didn’t seem like enough. She wanted more of him. All of him.

  When she pushed into the employee lounge, he sat with his back to her, across from Lex. Lex’s face lit up, tossing her a friendly smile.

  “Your girlfriend’s here,” Lex said, clapping Cobra on the shoulder. Gen felt her cheeks flame at the designation. With the way her heart raced, she wanted it to be true. Cobra is my boyfriend. The very words in her head sounded like poetry. Sacred. Illicit, somehow, too.

  Gen tried to smile, to play it off, to give that cool, unaffected look the leads in the movies always gave. But when she spotted Cobra’s face on her way to the fridge, shadows lurked there.

  “I’m not his girlfriend,” Gen said, giving Lex’s shoulder a little shove. She liked that in the month she’d been at the gym, she’d developed a camaraderie with her colleagues that allowed for little things like that. Touching strangers—touching anyone—was strictly forbidden back home.

  “She knows better than to be with someone like me,” Cobra said. Gen took her meal out of the fridge—another stir fry she and Cobra had made earlier that week—and leaned against the countertop as it warmed in the microwave.

  “You would be a great boyfriend,” Gen countered, fingering the neckline of her shirt. “You’re a good guy.”

  Cobra snorted but didn’t say anything else. Lex winked at her as he stood, picking up a crumpled wrapper.

  “Cobra’s pretty fucking great. We gotta tell him that more often, so he sticks around.”

  Fear jolted through her. “Where would he be going?”

  Lex tossed his wrapper in a trash can as he weaved through the small tables in the lounge. “Wherever he wants, I guess.”

  Cobra’s jaw flexed as his dark gaze jerked between Gen and Lex. “I’m here for now. Can’t you see?” He gestured at himself, drawing her gaze to the HOLT tank hanging loosely from his rock-solid torso.

  But for how much longer? They’d agreed on three months, but she still hadn’t even tried to imagine her life in LA without Cobra in it too. Didn’t want to, either.

  “Were you talking about leaving?” Gen asked Cobra.

  Cobra shrugged. “I got this test coming up. I probably won’t pass.”

  “You will,” Lex said, in a tone that suggested he’d said the same words plenty of times already. “For you, the test will be cake. I promise.”

  “I dunno.” Cobra scrubbed at the back of his head. “I’ve never been good at tests.”

  “Me neither. I swear to you—if I can pass it, you can too.”

  “Do you want help?” The microwave beeped, and Gen pulled her food out. She held the glass bowl with paper towels as she went over to the table where Cobra sat. Lex came back to the table, hands on his hips, looming over Cobra like some sort of big brother.

  “You can’t help any more than you are, Red,” Cobra said softly, staring at the table.

  “We can review questions or material or…vocabulary.” She shrugged. “I’ll make flash cards. That helps, right?”

  “You don’t need to make flash cards.”

  Lex grinned her way. “You’re nice. I like it.” Nudging Cobra with his arm, he said, “She’s one to take to the parents, ya know?”

  Gen’s face flamed again, and she almost choked on a cumin-y piece of broccoli. Cobra’s face darkened. His nostrils flared but he didn’t say anything.

  “He’s one to take to the parents too,” she said, trying to lighten the mood. To turn the attention away from his situation. She stabbed a thick slice of carrot, admiring it before popping it in her mouth. “You wanna come meet my parents, Cobra?”

  He didn’t meet her gaze as he grabbed for a napkin and brought it to his lap, where he started shredding it. “I don’t know about all that.”

  “Meeting the parents. It’s a big step.” Lex yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “Lila’s parents still don’t like me. Not even a little bit. So it’s a gamble.”

  Gen saw her window and went for it. “You should come to my house for Thanksgiving. It’s like, what, in less than two weeks?” She shrugged, ignoring the way her heart pounded waiting for his response.

  “Thanksgiving?”

  She nodded, scooping some rice into her mouth. Lex scrolled through his phone, seemingly unaware of the way the talk about parents affected Cobra. Lex probably didn’t know about Cobra’s home life, she realized. At least not enough to know that he might not have anyone to take her to meet.

  “I don’t do holidays,” Cobra said.

  “Free food,” Lex put in.

  “I’d love to take you to meet my family,” Gen said quietly, searching his face. His eyes were molten, practically fire. It almost hurt to hold his gaze.

  “They’ll love you,” Lex said, clapping Cobra on the shoulder. “Besides, nobody wants to be alone on Thanksgiving.”

  Cobra’s face tightened.

  “So?” Gen offered a smile. “It’ll be fun. And you can meet my crazy family.”

  “No.”

  The rejection fell like a sharpened blade on her heart, swift and easy. Gen scooped more rice into her mouth, trying to ignore the way his reaction sliced through her. Pretending it didn’t hurt. Pretending she hadn’t seen this coming.

  Lex shrugged, sending Gen a look she didn’t understand. “Well, sometimes we need a year off. I’m heading back out there. See you guys.”

  The door clattered shut behind him, leaving the lounge in a tense silence. Gen pushed a pea pod around the bowl.

  “Are you sure—” she began.

  “I don’t fucking do family shit,” Cobra snarled, slapping his palm against the table as he leaned forward. “And I don’t wanna go to Thanksgiving. So don’t ask again.”

  Gen swallowed a knot, steeling herself against his outburst. She didn’t dare break his gaze. Hurt was hidden there, wrought into the hard lines of his scowl.

  “Fine.” She frowned at the rest of her food, and then realized she’d lost her appetite. She pushed the bowl toward him. “You want any?”

  He jerked his head in a no.

  “It’s the stir-fry we made,” she said, pushing it closer.

  “Genevieve.”

  His tone held a warning. One that made her deflate entirely.

  “Okay then.” She stood and dumped the leftovers then rinsed out her bowl. Emotion clogged her throat more and more the longer Cobra remained infuriatingly quiet. Distant. Completely closed off. Only hours ago, he’d come into her office and told her she was beautiful. Now, she doubted he’d do a damn thing if she walked in front of a moving car.

  This is a red flag. Sophie’s voice whispered in the back of her head. As Gen capped her bowl and headed for the door, Cobra said nothing. On the table, the napkin lay in a thousand tiny pieces.

  He didn’t even look at her as she pushed out of the lounge.

  Chapter 26

  Cobra was fighting a losing battle. He’d known it the second he set foot in Holt Body Fitness. The few months he’d been here had been a nice distraction, but a false sense of encouragement overall.

  And now he had proof.

  The certification packet was in, the paperwork needed to formally test and apply for his trainer certification. Travis presented it to him like he’d already fucking gotten the pass. Cobra even let himself get excited, imagining the future where he was a trainer and had real clients and told people what to do to feel better.

  But it had been a pipe dream. It always was. Because of one little line, requirement number five in the long list:

  5. Submit high school or college diploma.

  He tried to ignore the way his stomach pitched to his feet as he sat facing Travis in his office. But his world had bottomed out. Again. This sweet, hopeful world he’d managed to cobble together in the time since helping Lex. The world where he went to work every day and paid rent on time and could rationalize spending time with a sweetheart like Gen.

  “Look good?” Tra
vis smiled down at him, pieces of his dark blond hair escaping from behind his ear.

  Cobra shrugged. “Yeah.”

  “Obviously, we’re not quite ready to turn it in. But I wanted you to see it so we can start getting everything together. That way, once you finish up training with Gen, we’ll be ready to submit ASAP.”

  Training with Gen. One of the best parts of his week, aside from when he saw her outside of work. But since their weird lunch the day before, he doubted that should continue.

  “Great.” He folded the paperwork up, tucking it under his arm.

  Travis held his gaze a moment longer, then pushed up off his desk where he’d been resting. He could tell there was something more to add. Cobra suddenly felt weary.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” Cobra was desperate to leave. “I’ve just, uh…” How to explain the decades of neglect, disappointment, and disasters? “I’m gonna take a closer look when I get home, is all. I’m not real good with paperwork.”

  “Sure. Let me know if you need help.”

  Cobra mustered a grin and pushed out of the office. It was almost the end of the day for him. Really, he could grab his stuff and go now. He hadn’t talked to or texted Gen since the day before, and he’d spent almost every hour going back to his words, reliving them, wishing he’d been softer, wishing he’d been harsher.

  He couldn’t decide if he needed to push her away now or savor the last possible dregs of sweetness.

  Cobra chose to leave. He stormed back into the weight room, which was boisterous at this time of day. He headed for the cubbies where he’d left a hoodie and his ear buds. His skin prickled, and he looked up. Gen had walked into the reception area, bent over the desk as she talked to Melanie.

  His heart raced. He couldn’t rip his gaze away.

  Until a guy in the weight room whistled low beside him.

  “I’d fucking bang her until my dick fell off,” the guy said, wetting his bottom lip as he stared through the glass wall. His buddy at his side laughed his agreement. “Swear to god, the hottest girls work here.”

  “You go for fire crotches, huh?”

  Cobra ground his teeth, slowly turning toward the guys.

  “You’d go for this one. Don’t act like you wouldn’t,” douche number one scoffed. “I bet she’d go for both of us together. Let’s find out.”

  Cobra’s last sliver-thin shred of composure snapped. In the next moment he had Douchey McDumbhaircut by the collar of his sleeveless workout shirt, pressed up against the glass wall. Time shrank, everything shuddering to an intense, crystalline focus.

  This was equal parts jealousy and self-destruction. He’d have this guy by the collar no matter what. But how far would he push it?

  “What the fuck?” Douche’s stupid face contorted in confusion.

  Cobra pressed his thumb into the sensitive hollow at the base of his neck. He knew how to turn the crazy on—he amped it up to full blast for this guy. “Don’t you fucking talk about her like that.”

  “Who? The fucking red-head?”

  Cobra slammed him against the wall, making a loud thud. Curious eyes from the reception area flitted his way. But at this point, he couldn’t give a fuck. Mindless anger had taken over. Cobra needed to make this point so these guys never wondered again. So Travis never wondered again.

  “She’s. Off. Limits.” Cobra accented every word by slamming him against the glass. The buddy at his side tugged at his shoulder.

  “Dude. He works here,” Douche’s friend said.

  The weight room doors swung open, and a hand clamped down on Cobra’s shoulder. Cobra didn’t let go of the guy as Lex pulled him back.

  “Cobra. Let’s work it out. Come on, man.”

  “He fucking jumped me for no reason!” The douchebag glared at him and stumbled away once Cobra released the neckline of his shirt.

  “We’re fine,” the friend said, guiding douchebag away. In a quieter voice, he said, “Come on. Let’s not get kicked out.”

  “Your friend is smart,” Cobra spat, not breaking his gaze. He straightened his back, balling his fists, which were ready to slam into the side of the guy’s face. “Fuckin’ talking like that around here. Learn to shut your mouth.”

  Lex guided Cobra away, toward the cubbies. He draped an arm around Cobra’s shoulders, keeping his voice low.

  “What’d they do, bro? Everything cool?”

  Clarity returned to him in shreds. Adrenaline still pulsed through him. “Dirty ass mouths. Talking about Gen like that.”

  Lex smirked, but he didn’t say anything else. He looked through the glass wall out to the reception area. Cobra followed his gaze.

  And there she was. His pretty red-head, big eyes full of curiosity and concern. Melanie stood at her side, mouth moving as she spoke.

  But all Red did was look at him. So much written in her gaze. It went deeper than concern. It told him that she was seconds away from coming after him herself. That it didn’t matter what he’d said to her in the lounge; it didn’t matter how far he tried to push her away.

  She was in it. For him.

  And that was a fucking shame. Because he couldn’t return that to her. He’d gone too deep with this girl, and he needed to cut this shit out before it got worse. It wasn’t even sex brain. They hadn’t fucked, so how could it be?

  It was Gen brain.

  “Breaking up fights is good,” Lex said in a low, measured voice. “But you can’t go after dudes like that.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Melanie is gonna have to file a weight room incident report since she saw it go down,” Lex went on, gripping him by the arms. “Travis might have some questions.”

  “Let him fucking fire me.” Cobra worked his jaw back and forth. “I don’t care.” Because he didn’t. Or rather, he wanted to not care, and the only way that would happen is if he just fucking ruined it already.

  Lex lowered his head. “You’re hot right now. I get it.” He didn’t leave Cobra’s side as he paced. Like a good friend—or paid colleague, since he still hesitated to use the word friend—Lex waited until Cobra cooled off before he left the weight room.

  Once Cobra gathered his things, Gen had disappeared. Good thing, too. He needed to leave. Without fanfare, without issue, without any more feelings.

  Back at the apartment, both Klay and Tyler were up, gathered around the kitchen island, hovering over something. Cobra didn’t say anything, just dropped his gym bag on the couch and went over there.

  “Oh hey, Coby,” Tyler said, jolting when Cobra brushed by him. A plate sat on the island between him and Klay, white powder spread across the surface. “You want a snack?”

  Cobra studied the plate. It had to be K. If it were blow, they’d have beers out as well.

  “It’ll keep you mellow,” Klay said when Cobra didn’t immediately respond. “And you need it, brother.”

  “Yeah. Stomping around here like a fucking bull these days,” Tyler said, snorting.

  “Makes me nervous sometimes,” Klay added.

  Cobra narrowed his eyes. “Why the fuck would it make you nervous?”

  “I don’t know what you’re gonna do!” Klay threw up his hands defensively. “You could fuckin snap, ya know? Like your old lady did.”

  Cobra gritted his teeth. “Yeah well, we’re not fucking, so I think you’re fine.” It was the only response he had, even after all these years. As long as we’re not fucking, I won’t kill you. It seemed to be the one rationalization that made sense. Crime of passion. It had to be true, because something had to be the reason why his mom killed his stepdad.

  “So go on.” Tyler offered him a rolled-up bill. “Snort your snack.”

  Cobra watched the proffered bill for a moment, and without deciding, without even realizing it, he accepted it and took a long, hard draw at the plate.

  The powder scorched through the back of his throat. The movement was fluid, born of muscle memory and nostalgia. Of saying fuck it and letting the pieces fall whe
re they may. Like always.

  “Atta boy, Coby,” Tyler said. He sounded almost proud. Cobra rubbed at his forehead, lurching toward the couch. Tyler and Klay took their turns as Cobra sprawled out, finding a comfortable spot and letting the high settle in.

  Chapter 27

  Cobra didn’t show up to work for two days.

  Two. Whole. Days.

  On the morning of the third day, she couldn’t keep pretending she didn’t care, or that she was emotionally removed, or any of the other qualities that movies and books told her she needed to exhibit. She’d even texted him once the day before, unsurprised when he didn’t respond.

  The deepest part of her worried that he had taken the leap and disappeared. Like she’d been fearing all along. Part of her deeply believed he would never sabotage his own career like that. The other, newer side of her—the one getting acquainted with the suspicions and wounds of the regular world—knew that nothing was off limits.

  It was Friday. Which meant that an entire weekend—an eternity—might go by without hearing from Cobra. Without knowing if he was still a part of her life or if she should begin lamenting his loss now.

  She spent the afternoon at her desk, clicking between screens without accomplishing much. A wily idea percolated in her skull, one that she knew to be very wrong. Very bad. Probably illegal, given the strict rules Travis had set her up with regarding the business’s information and records.

  But screw it. Desperate times called for desperate, and braver, measures. She wanted to check in on Cobra. So she would do it the only way left to her.

  Gen clicked over to the Employees tab of the accounting software. The long list of people stared back at her, a list that included janitors and trainers and marketing professionals and more. Travis’s payroll. She knew that the software contained all the sensitive information necessary for accounting and government compliance. Travis had shown her once where to find addresses and numbers, in the event of an emergency.

  Did this qualify as an emergency? She didn’t want to think too hard about it, lest she talk herself out of the breach. She ran down every name once. And then a second time.